How To Cheat At Rock-Paper-Scissors

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Thu Apr 11, 2019 4:10 pm

Since the dawn of whenever-the-hell-it-was, mankind used the sacred game of the rocking, the papering and the scissoring as the ultimate duel of fate. Who got the last nacho, who paid for a meal, who got to use the aux cord first. The sanctity of winning best two out of three is honored like divine decree. 

But what if I told you that there’s a way to cheat in this supposed game of chance? Once you know this of most coveted secrets, the world is but thine bitch for the taking. 


So listen up, cunts! There’s about a 2/3 chance your opponent will use “scissors” on the first try. So use rock! Dunno why this works, but my dozens of victories followed by free shit and arguments automatically won can attest to the fact that it just fucking does. 

One word of advice, though: be careful who you tell this to. They’ll never let you play rock-paper-scissors with you again, and your “Get out of dishes free” card is as good as gone.
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Thu Apr 11, 2019 5:39 pm

That doesn't work as well as my method;

Just before the call, put your palm hand around the outside of your fist and watch the thumb, index and middle finger of your opponent's hand very closely. Depending on how they move (or fail to), you'll have about a tenth of a second to directly counter any honest opponent, and because you're covering your choice with your other hand they won't notice they're getting fucked over by a slight delay of choice.
Don't make me put my wizard shit on. I still mean fucking business when I've got my wizard shit on.
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